Bella Bella full of Grace

OK, so I never really officially named her or sent in her papers but that is what I always said her name was.  Since the day I dreamed about her. Grace is something she never had.  Actually she is quite ditsy, so when my cousins who were dog/house sitting called to ask if she was blind I immediately laughed and replied, "No, just ditsy!"  When we got home she was in fact, blind.    Monday I took her to the vet and $300 later had sad news.  Our sweet Bella girl has lymphoma with Uviutis and Hyphnea in her eyes.  Her site may come back but without cancer treatment she has about 2 months.  With prednisone she will be more comfortable and it may extend her life a little but not much and with chemo she could have 2-6 years.  Decisions, decisions.  We were torn up.  Sad.  What on earth were we to do.  If this was our child there would be NO questions and she is family.  But, we do not have the money for chemo.  I mean dogs don't have health insurance.  So we made an appointment with the internal medicine vet to get the scoop.  In the meantime she has had a reaction - we think - to one of the meds, thrown up a lot, run into a lot of stuff, wagged her tail a lot, got a lot of people food and love and slept a lot.  We have a bad feeling.  Mike and I have seen her this week look awful, and change fast.  We think it may be too far gone to fix but, we will see.  Will we do chemo?  We don't know.  It really is a hard decision to make.  The thought of no having Bella in our life makes us sad.  She has been with us since our first year in Italy and has been a good dog. A funny dog for sure.  She is a little piggy but she is picky about her food.  She will eat all people food in one gulp but her dog food, she has to have water over it.  No, I don't put water on it she does.  She puts her nose in the water bowl and splashes water into her food bowl until it is how she likes it.  It is so funny to watch.  And bless her heart she is terrified of the broom.  We have no idea why but if the broom is by the back door, she will not go near it.  Funny girl!  She will be missed for sure.  The hardest part for me is going to be telling Sullivan.  He loves these dogs and is going to be devastated.   He knows she is sick but he does not know she is dying.  I dread this whole process but like they say, "it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all".   She has made our lives richer and our hearts fuller. Until her day to go play in doggy heaven she will extra scratches, extra treats and extra love.